The past several nights I've been having this reoccurring dream in which I'm floating idly underwater. The setting is such that there appears to be no apparent end to the body of water I inhabit. There's no ocean floor in sight, no particularly dominant source of light to indicate a direction where a surface might be discovered...nothing, just inky gray all around. I am able to breathe, oddly enough, and as I float there in that vast, overwhelming, disorienting expanse I am allowed just enough time to cultivate profound feelings of smallness. The inky gray water becomes darker, a charcoal color, and I become aware of just how exposed and helpless I am in this situation, when all of the sudden.....
BAM! SHARKTOPUS!!!! To this day, one of the most horrible monsters I've dreamed up. I'm often startled out of my sleep. Then, after I realize that everything's alright and I'm in no real danger of being eaten by a gigantic oceanic abomination, I put my head back down on the pillow and BAM! I'm right back in the dream about to get chomped/suction-cupped to death. Lindsey, the resident expert on marine life, assures me that it's a biological impossibility for Carcharodon megalodon (the apparent father of this terrifying, hypercarnivorous predator) to successfully reproduce with Octopus giganteus. Well, Lindsey, the ocean's a big place, and in the immortal words of Dr. Malcolm, "Life finds a way."
